**As I wrote about in Who Am I? I like to write about all kinds of different things. Sometimes, serious and personal subjects. Sometimes, just writing about random shit that happens in my day to day life. Just a bit of who I am–mistakes and all. My very first post was Hookup Culture. where I discussed my hookup with a guy named David. That whole situation was kind of crazy. Well…here’s another hookup story. I’m not necessarily proud of either of these instances, but it’s what happened, and all I can do is keep going from here. I’m not sure what has drawn my generation to this hookup culture, other than perhaps entertainment? Over-sexualization of women and men? Fear of commitment? A desire for independence? Laziness? Afraid of emotions and pain? Our “need” for instant gratification? I just wonder: Why have I done it?**
Friday night an old friend, Meg and I decided to get together to have dinner/drinks downtown. Before going out I got a text from Andrew, saying, “I’m getting drunk tonight. Find me tonight.” So after dinner, Meg and I found out where Andrew was and picked him up. He was at a bar with our friends Todd and Josh. So we pulled up and he got in the car, already drunk, and after trying to figure out what to do for a long time, we finally decided to go to this local bar/club that I’ve never intended to go to…(I never wanted to go there because it’s just not my scene, really. Lots of younger-than-me-horny-and drunk people out there. Lots of frat-type of guys, sexualized women (and men) workers. Lots of boobs and booties hanging out hah…just…not my thing). But I couldn’t come up with a better alternative that was close to us quick enough, so off we went.
As soon as we walked in, Andrew bought us all three tequila shots. Tequila is trouble for me. Well…who is it not trouble for?.. My friend Meg then bought beers for us. Previously, at dinner, Meg and I had each had one drink as well. As the night progressed, Meg and I decided to put our purses and coats in her car and then walked back into the bar. Andrew had a mixed drink and was off smoking outside. Meg and I stood around, talking and laughing at whatever silly things we saw drunk people doing and then watched a super sexy man riding the mechanical bull. Yes…mechanical bull. Once we finished our drinks, Meg and I decided to get us buttery nipple shots. One of my favs. Like I said, we had taken our purses to the car, but she had already opened up a tab and was going to provide the drinks for the night (well, some of them). Meg wanted to dance, but I told her I was not drunk enough to dance in this place. So meg told Andrew I needed more tequila and he said, “well, go get yourself some!” And I told him I had left my card in my purse and smiled at him, so, he bought us some more tequila shots. He was feeling a bit unwell and went to the bathroom, leaving us with his mixed drink, which we then proceeded to drink ourselves.
Some of the time, when people start drinking like this, they all of a sudden become smokers. So Meg went to her car and got two e-cigarettes for us. Meg and I had talked about Andrew earlier in the night and she knew that there was a possibility that we would hook up or something might happen between us. So when she found out how old he is, she said, “wow! Rae’s robbing the cradle!” and he smiled down at me. Jeez. When Meg and I were alone, she asked if we’ve even kissed before and I told her we haven’t. So she asked if I wanted her to try it out first and let her know if he’s any good, so I said sure, why not. (She’s married and I knew she wouldn’t do anything else with him, she’s just a sexual person). After reconnecting with Andrew after he had been in the bathroom for a while, he came and found us outside. He was leaning on my legs and started smoking his own cigarette. Meg then asked to kiss him because I wanted to know what it was like before I kissed him myself. So they leaned over me and kissed and o.m.g. it looked pretty hot and she told me it was good, he smiled down at me, then laid his head back down on my legs, which then caused a waitress to come over and tell him he had to sit up (because you can’t lay down/go to sleep in a bar). So he got up and disappeared for a while again and two guys came over and joined us. One of the guys was actually pretty cool and nice to talk to, and also very cute. I was enjoying our conversation and flirting and who knows, thought maybe I’d be giving my number out or something. Nope. Here came Andrew, grabbing my hand, smiling at me and saying we were going to go dance. Bye cute guy that I’ll probably never see again.
We went inside and we all three started dancing together. At this point, most of the bar was drunk and dancing, so it didn’t feel awkward or uncomfortable. The DJ then starting playing that song…ahh what’s the name…Proud American? You know, the…”And I’m proud to be an American…” song. You know it. So I put my arm around Andrew and sang it loud and proud (he’s in the Army, currently). He felt proud and gripped his arm around me tighter. It was cute. Then I decided I needed to go to the bathroom. I think at this point I had been given another mixed drink, or a beer,or both…I’m not sure.
Walking to the bathroom, I felt slightly “stumbly,” but not too bad. I thought I was handling myself pretty well. Well…I get into a stall and this is when it really hit me. I laid my head against the stall and was coming close to falling asleep. Next thing I know, 3 girls are outside of my stall, looking in at me through the cracks in the doors and asking me if I was ok or if I needed help. I said that I was ok, but stood up, pulled my pants up and opened the door. They then asked me again if I was ok, but all of a sudden I started to feel pretty sick. So I said no and started to cry. They told me the bouncer was saying I needed to leave. I was shocked. I’ve never been kicked out of a bar before. Let alone a bar like this! Like, you’ve gotta be pretty messed up to get kicked out of here. So, clearly, I did not realize the condition I was in. They took my phone and asked who they could call for me and I told them to call Andrew and Meg and then found myself on the bathroom floor, hugging the toilet and crying. The girls were so nice to me and took care of me until Meg showed up. Meg then called Andrew to tell him to come outside of the bathroom, that I was really sick and that we were being told to leave. So she helped me out of the bathroom and then he put his arm around me and helped me to the car. While walking to the car, Meg asked where she should take us and said that I couldn’t go home like that. So obviously, we both end up going to his house. He sat in the back with me and talked to me and held my hand. My memory is pretty in and out and I remember some things, but not everything clearly. We got to his house and he helped me out of the car and we walked up to the house together and he told me when to take a step up and all that good stuff. I don’t remember getting up to his room, but we did and he picked up the shorts I had worn last weekend and he said, “here are your shorts. I’m going to go get you some water, if you need help getting changed I’ll be back.” So I somehow was able to get changed into the shorts and laid in the bed. He came back with the water, I drank some, then he got changed and climbed into the bed with me and covered us up. We then started talking and it was very flirty because, well, you know…drunk Rae is a horny and much more open Rae. Anyways, so he started to tell me how good my ass looked in my jeans that night and, well, one thing led to another and I was on top of him.
So we hooked up…kind of…I think. I don’t really remember what exactly happened. I do know that it was not my best work and I passed out way too fast…it was not a very successful hookup because of my way too drunk ass. Thankfully, he was quite drunk as well and doesn’t remember everything from that night either…so he says.
The next day he took me home and we just talked like things were normal and he said, “last night was a much more successful night out than the weekend before,” so at least he had a good time?
We haven’t talked too much since then, but we have talked some at least. It’s a different situation than the one with David, but I’m still kind of in a place of…ok…so that happened, what now?…
Mercury and Mars are both in retrograde. What a horrible time for a hookup! Had I not been so drunk, I probably would have thought about that and not have done it. Then again, maybe I would have?…I’m pretty good at making decisions sometimes…
I should probably stop accepting free drinks…because that’s when it leads to trouble. I can’t afford to drink like that on my own. When it’s free, though…bad decisions are soon to follow.
Maybe I should try a sober weekend next.
I don’t really have any wise words or anything great to leave you with, except, just be careful…don’t get so wasted you get thrown out of bars, that’s embarrassing. No one wants to be that girl. If you can help it…don’t hookup with a good friend while drunk to the point that you are not fully aware of what is going on. Also, maybe don’t get so drunk that you’re not fully aware of what is going on.
As I said before, I like to share many different experiences on here, including my mistakes. So…even though not everything about this night was necessarily a mistake. I wouldn’t say it was my best night. I don’t regret it though. I am trying to learn from it, without regretting it.
It is what it is. Here’s to making “mistakes” and learning lessons?