Far too often, people use the phrase, “it’s just a phase.” I don’t like when people say that.
When I imagine someone saying this, I picture a middle-aged woman in a church-covering herself from her neck to her ankles. She’s pointing a finger at a kid-the one in the church labeled the “bad kid”-who clearly has anger all over his face. This middle-aged-conservative woman tells the child’s mom not to worry, “it’s just a phase.”
He’ll just get over it, right?
This phrase diminishes his anger. What if it’s not just a phase? What if there is a reason behind the madness? What if he doesn’t just “get over it”? Maybe he needs someone to see beyond his mental and emotional development time table.
This little boy-is bullied by other kids and told that he is worthless.
This little boy-has a parent who is either not physically or not emotionally present.
This little boy-doesn’t think he’s as smart as the other kids.
This little boy-is sad, which manifests itself as anger and “rebellion.”
Even if this boy is not necessarily going through anything too difficult to handle-he’ll remember the people who cared for him right where he was. He’ll remember the people who did not belittle his emotions. He’ll also remember the people who pointed their fingers at him, and said that he was simply angry because he’s going through a phase that he will get over.
Show love and care to those around you-no matter how young or old. None of us are done developing. We all go through different stages throughout our entire lives, and no matter what stage we are in-our emotions-our pain-our situations are real. Remember that anger often has roots in pain.
So, yeah, perhaps that stage of development influences a person’s actions and reactions, and they may begin to see life differently the older they get-but that doesn’t make their emotions and feelings less real. One thing that can damage their emotional and mental development is no one caring about them where they are.