Last night, which I talked about here, I felt like I was going crazy. I didn’t understand why my emotions hit me so very hard. I said to a friend I was texting that these were past emotions. I had felt them before. Obviously, as I talked about in that last post about last night, I felt some of these emotions from the stuff that happened last year; however, I knew it was deeper than that. I eventually started putting things together…
It makes sense that the feelings from last year would come back up, but why did I feel like having a panic attack?! The feelings from last year were not that intense. Suddenly, I realized…this all stemmed from emotional abuse. It all came down to control and power over my emotions.
He was holding my insecurities, and I no longer trusted him with those.
I felt as if I was standing in front of all of our friends-completely naked-trying so hard to cover myself and he was standing there-smirking-cigarette in one hand and my insecurities in the other.
P.S. Whenever I’m upset with a guy or whatever…I channel my inner Beyonce and listen to her empowering music! Haha it works every time. She’s a Virgo like me, which I love because I feel even more connected to the things she sings about. Currently listening to: Best Thing I Never Had 🙂