The INFJ/INFP Struggle.

Haha might sound lame, but I love the sarcastic saying of #thestruggle 

But anyways…

(So in my last post I talked about how a friend of mine who told me she felt like she couldn’t talk to me about what was going on with her and that I wouldn’t care because of what I have been dealing with).

Sooooo…this all had me thinking about the INFJ/INFP struggle. There are times I score as an INFJ and times that I score as an INFP these personality types are extremely similar since the only thing different is the J (Judging) and P (Perceiving). Basically the best way to explain the difference is that the INFJ is the “thinker” and the INFP is the “dreamer.” There are other things, obviously, but they are very similar. Once I was able overcome my social anxiety disorder I started scoring INFP more often…because of not “over-thinking” as much. I definitely think I’m more INFJ as far as the needing the extrovert time because of the need to connect with and help people. INFP‘s do not need as much social time.

On I found some information about the INFJ and INFP

“INFJs tend to see helping others as their purpose in life, but while people with this personality type can be found engaging rescue efforts and doing charity work, their real passion is to get to the heart of the issue so that people need not be rescued at all.”

“INFJs find it easy to make connections with others, and have a talent for warm, sensitive language, speaking in human terms, rather than with pure logic and fact. It makes sense that their friends and colleagues will come to think of them as quiet Extroverted types, but they would all do well to remember that INFJs need time alone to decompress and recharge, and to not become too alarmed when they suddenly withdraw. INFJs take great care of other’s feelings, and they expect the favor to be returned – sometimes that means giving them the space they need for a few days.”

On Friendships:

“From the start, it can be a challenge to get to know INFJs, as they are very private, even enigmatic. INFJs don’t readily share their thoughts and feelings, not unless they are comfortable, and since those thoughts and feelings are the basis for INFJ friendships, it can take time and persistence to get to know them. Meanwhile, INFJs are very insightful and have a particular knack for seeing beyond others’ facades, interpreting intent and compatibility quickly and easily, and weeding out those who don’t share the depth of their idealism.”

“In friendship it is as though INFJs are searching for a soul mate, someone who shares every facet of their passions and imagination.”


When it comes to romantic relationships…I am absolutely an INFP:

“INFPs share a sincere belief in the idea of relationships – that two people can come together and make each other better and happier than they were alone, and they will take great efforts to show support and affection in order to make this ideal a reality.”

“But INFPs aren’t necessarily in a rush to commit – they are, after all, Prospecting (P) types, and are almost always looking to either establish a new relationship or improve an existing one – they need to be sure they’ve found someone compatible. In dating, INFPs will often start with a flurry of comparisons, exploring all the ways the current flame matches with the ideal they’ve imagined. This progression can be a challenge for a new partner, as not everyone is able to keep up with INFPs’ rich imagination and moral standards – if incompatibilities and conflict over this initial rush mount, the relationship can end quickly, with INFPs likely sighing that ‘it wasn’t meant to be.'”

“INFPs do everything they can to be the ideal partner, staying true to themselves and encouraging their partners to do the same. INFPs take their time in becoming physically intimate so that they can get to know their partners, using their creativity to understand their wants and needs, and adapt to them. People with this personality type are generous in their affection, with a clear preference for putting the pleasure of their partners first – it is in knowing that their partners are satisfied that INFPs truly feel the most pleasure.”

INFJ‘s are very serious about relationships and won’t do “casual.” It does talk about needing to feel a deep connection on a physical, emotional and spiritual level, being spontaneous, loving passionately and being open about that love. I think that’s all very true about me and what I long for in a serious relationship, or even those type of things in non-romantic and casual relationships, which I think is why keeping a casual relationship is difficult–I want to find soul mates in all types of relationships. INFP‘s have this “perfect” idea of a relationship and often people fall short of what we dream up, and they aren’t in a rush to settle down. Anywaysso…it’s pretty easy for me to make connections with people, but to truly trust-to truly open up and let people in-it’s difficult. I want to please others, but want such a perfect connection that I other push others away because of the fact that people don’t tend to fit this perfect idea of a relationship. So the struggle of finding this perfect-spiritual-emotional and physical connection is really frustrating.

It’s really going to take a very specific type of person for me to settle down with. If you read my blog post More Self-Awareness? I talk about my entire astrological chart and how the planets work together in my chart and it actually goes perfectly along with this. Explains me to a T. 

#thestruggle it’s real. 


8 thoughts on “The INFJ/INFP Struggle.

  1. If you would really like to know your true type, I would suggest studying the cognitive functions of both types.

    INFJ – Ni-Fe-Ti-Se
    INFP – Fi-Ne-Si-Te

    Tests can be inaccurate and analyzing yourself through understanding of the cognitive functions would help.

    I would also suggest to have a good friend help you with your analysis to see if how you perceive yourself is true to reality.

    Good luck with the struggle! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I have this exact same struggle, I have a coworker who loves studying the personality types and asked me to take the test. So of course I take different ones and every time it’s either INFP or INFJ and I see parts of myself in both categories. You’re not alone in your struggle.

    Liked by 1 person

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