With all of the shootings and stuff going on lately, my heart is breaking. When I watched the video of Alton Sterling‘s wife being interviewed-or giving a speech-addressing the nation…I started bawling. When his 15 year old boy began weeping-loudly-and saying, “I want my dad…” I couldn’t even begin to contain my tears. I can only imagine how heart-breaking that is. He saw his dad’s murder on video. He knows that his father’s murderers may not pay for what they did. He will have to deal with this pain-this anger-and undoubtedly-his fear.
I don’t know how it feels to be afraid and to feel like the very people who are supposed to be there to protect you-could murder you. I absolutely-100%-know that not all police officers are bad and without a doubt, the majority are good.
However, can you imagine having to wonder if they are in fact good or bad?
I am thankful for the great officers who do, in fact, protect us and put their lives on the line for us. Some of the officers who were killed in the Dallas shooting were shielding the very people protesting against them. And that is amazing to see.
In February, I met a girl in my intensive at Liberty, who actually lives in the same city as me. She is a black, 28 year old girl. She has quickly become one of my closest friends here. The other day I was at her house with her and her family and they were talking about the fear that they have…they were talking amongst themselves-not talking about in order to explain to me how it feels. In fact, once she remembered that I was there, she said,“Oh, I’m sorry Rae. I hope you don’t mind us talking about this. I don’t think you like Trump, right? We’ve talked about that before, right?”
Why in the world would she even feel like she needs to apologize for that?! I cannot stand Trump and I would never disregard their feelings. I was so thankful to even be able to hear them talk about it-without remembering I was there because that meant it was real…not trying to get me to understand it. But I could barely say anything because I felt…I don’t even know how to explain how I felt.
Helpless? Ignorant? Frustrated? Sad? All of those?
Helpless-because I feel like I can’t do anything to help them feel differently and I don’t know how to change things…
Ignorant-because I realized in this moment that I really had never seen through the eyes of black people and seen-in person-the fear they have.
Frustrated-because I want to know. I want to understand. I want them to know that I can understand and that I would stand with them to protect them if that’s what I needed to do-which is scary to me-because what if it comes to that? To have to wonder if it will come to that is crazy to me. What is this world we are living in?
Sad-because of how much it hurts to see someone who I now consider one of my closest friends deal with this fear that I don’t understand don’t know how to help her with. Sad because I don’t feel like I will ever truly understand and that they know I won’t fully understand, which makes me feel useless.
I guess, I also felt humbled. Humbled that they all are so kind to me. Humbled that they don’t treat me as an ignorant white girl. Even though I’ve never done anything or said anything hurtful to them-I am still an ignorant white girl to an extent. Ignorant in the way that I’ll never fully understand. I am trying to, though, and I think that means something to her and her family. I don’t say things as if I understand. All I could say was that there was no way what they were saying was offensive to me and that there was no way Trump is going to become president. Because-really-he’s just a pawn (in my opinion). It’s been the plan to get Hilary in office all along. I don’t believe, for a second, that Trump is going to become president. I will be SHOCKED if that happens. Lord, help us if he does, though. Not that I like Hilary, either…
Anyways-though I believe that the majority of police officers are good, and I believe that they will protect us, and I feel so much compassion and hurt for the officers injured-killed-and their families who have to deal with their loss and their anger and their fear-I also feel pain for my black friends and community.
I just wish that people would love each other. No matter your color. No matter your religion. No matter where you come from. No matter whom you choose to love. No matter what.
Romans 12:9 “Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.”
Romans 13:10 “Love does no harm to a neighbor…”
Ephesians 4:2 “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
John 15:13 “Greater love has no man than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”
Proverbs 10:12 “Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs.”
1 John 4:8 “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” -Martin Luther King Jr.
“Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘what are you doing for others?'”-Martin Luther King Jr.
“Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”-Martin Luther King Jr.
“We must learn to live together as brothers, or perish together as fools.”-Martin Luther King Jr.
“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”-Martin Luther King Jr.
“All wrong-doing arises because of mind. If mind is transformed can wrong-doing remain?”-Buddha
“If we have no peace it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.”-Mother Teresa.
“If you want a love message to be heard, it has got to be sent out. To keep a lamp burning, we have to put oil in it.” -Mother Teresa.
“I want you to be concerned about your next door neighbor. Do you know your next door neighbor?” -Mother Teresa.
Black lives do matter.