My friends constantly say “you don’t know what you’re worth,” “you need to figure out who you are and who you want to be,” “you have to love yourself before you can love someone else,” “you need to stop settling for guys who don’t deserve you. You deserve a good guy…” I just want to scream, “FUCK OFF” to every single one of them.
I know who I am. I know who I want to be. I love myself. I know I “deserve” a great guy who will treat me right.
…this is not my problem.
It’s also not your problem.
And I didn’t ask you to fix it.
Real love…to be treated the way I “deserve” (I hate that word…but I get what they mean, so I’ll roll with it…), to have something real, to not stick around with someone who I know is a manipulative liar…
and risking a broken heart from THAT? No thanks.
my heart is broken by assholes…even when I know it is inevitable.
I always end up feeling empty and dead on the inside…
to have my heart broken by someone I know to be good…who I know actually loves me…who I know would “make love” to me, rather than just “fuck me”…
I’m scared it would actually kill me.
I let myself go through another shitty situation with a dude I knew would hurt me, again…
I’m doing “okay” this time around, but I have those times where I feel “empty” and “hopeless,” but for the most part I’m able to be “okay.”
he is truly an asshole. I love him, though. I also hate him. He hurt me. In more ways than one.
I allowed him to hurt me and I feel ashamed for it.
But don’t tell me I don’t “know my worth” because I have no idea what you actually mean. And I don’t think you do either.
I understand that it seems weird for a girl, who otherwise “has her shit together,” to be fucking around with assholes. I get how that could look like I don’t “know my worth”…but I promise that’s not the issue…
and I need every single one of you beautiful mother fuckers to stop saying that.